Minute to Freedom

People Pleasing

Have you ever found yourself doing things you didn't want to do, just so others would like you?  That was something I learned when I was young.

Courage

When I started dealing with the effects of growing up in an alcoholic family, I was so bound up in the fear and terror of what I had lived through as a child, that those emotions were all I could see for a long time.  Yet later I started seeing how much courage it took for me to confront those issues!

Parents and Paradox

Have you ever felt like you had a love/hate relationship with a parent?  When I was in my '30s, the thing I wanted most was not to end up being like my Dad. Then I realized with a shock that I had become just like my Dad.

Seeking Outside Help

Has it ever seemed like your problems are bigger than you can deal with on your own? When I sought the help of professionals, it gave me invaluable insight and assistance in dealing with my carryover issues from childhood.

Progress

Have you ever taken a step forward and not long after found yourself two steps behind where you started?  At times I was growing faster than my mind could accept - I was trying for revolutionary progress.  These days, I am better off trying for evolutionary progress.

Low Self Esteem

Have friends ever told you to give yourself a break?  Did it ever seem like you didn't think much of yourself?  I had that experience a lot, where someone would try to compliment me or say something nice to me, and I would find a reason not to believe them.

Being Gentle With Myself

Have you ever felt like you're being too tough on yourself?  It often seemed like I was doing that - nothing I ever did measured up, and I would focus on the strikeout I had in the softball game, rather than the 3 hits and the great catch I made in the outfield.

Learning to Feel Joy

Has it ever seemed like it's hard to feel happiness or joy?  Easy to feel pain, but tough to feel excitement?  I discovered that when I was growing up in an alcoholic family, every time I felt excited and joyful about something I did, I got put down or hurt.

Owning My Talents

Have you ever felt like you can't appreciate your talents the way you could for someone else? I could tell you that David was a gifted speaker, or a talented athlete, but I couldn't see the same thing about myself.

Denial

Has it ever seemed like you had blinders on about your world? I did for a number of years.  If I was in denial about my behavior, I actually couldn't see what I had done, although my actions were obvious to everyone around me.

Fear of Success

Have you ever found yourself more comfortable if things didn't work out, than if you succeeded?  I was once told it looked like I was not afraid of failure, but afraid of success.  The statement rang true.

Release Anger But Don't Hurt

Have you ever felt like you had to hold on tightly because if you let your anger surface, it would just explode?   I was like that in my mid '30.  It was affecting my health, and I finally had to face how angry I was.

Spacing Out

Have you ever had something traumatic happen, like a family crisis, and you found yourself just spacing out?  I would do that - be frozen to the spot and not able to take action.

Dependent Personality

Have you ever felt like your world rotated around someone else, and that person had the ability to determine your happiness?  For me it almost felt like a physical craving that I had to be around the woman I was involved with, and sometimes I would do crazy things.

Not Being A Victim

Have you ever felt like a victim?  Like everyone was out to get you? I was hurt as a child, I was victimized.  No doubt about it.  But if I carry that mentality into adulthood, it's now a problem that I'm carrying.

What Am I Doing For Fun?

Have you ever felt like you were too serious? That it was tough to let go and just have fun? When a friend asked "What are you doing for fun?" it used to bug me, because I couldn't come up with many examples of fun in my life.

Frightened by Angry People

Have you ever been frightened by an angry person? I'm sure most of us have at some point.  But for me being around anger brought up a deep terror.  Because I knew from growing up in an alcoholic household how anger could explode, and how dangerous that could be.

Helping Others

Have you ever felt like you just weren't being useful?  That your problems were so overwhelming that they became your whole world?  Yet there's a great deal of truth in that old saying, "you don't get it until you give it away."

Willingness

Have you ever felt like you just didn't want to look at the problems that were plaguing your life?  I was like that for many years, and yet - it didn't make those problems go away.

Being Self Critical

Has it ever felt like you were being too critical of yourself? That whatever you did, it wasn't good enough?  If I got a 98 on a test, I beat myself up over the 2 I missed rather than feeling good about the high score.

Honor The Intuition

Have you ever felt like your gut is telling you something is wrong, but others are saying, "No, everything's fine," and you find it all very confusing? Growing up in an alcoholic family I was taught to doubt my intuition.

Confusing Love and Pity

Have you ever thought you were in love with someone, only to discover later that you really just felt sorry for them?  I would find a woman who was in great turmoil, become involved with her and think I was "in love."  Really, I was embroiled in her chaos.

Unresolved Grief

Have you ever gotten upset at something happening today, but you are more upset or sad than seems reasonable for the current event?  I experienced that a number of times, and discovered I was tapping into unresolved grief.

Loss of Identity

Have you ever experienced acting a different way in a group to be able to blend in? Growing up, I learned to be a chameleon, becoming whatever I thought people wanted, in order to fit in.

Authority Figures

Has a situation ever made you feel like you were the small child in front of the teacher's desk, afraid you had done something wrong?   I learned that growing up with a Dad who was the ultimate authority, and I had to do whatever I could to appease him.

Loving Yourself

Have you ever felt like you could be loving toward others, but just couldn't give that same level of caring to yourself?  There's a Bible verse that says, you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.  I always focused on the loving your neighbor part, sometimes neglecting myself in the process.

Define The Problem

Have you ever felt like something was wrong in your life, but you just couldn't put your finger on what it was? One of my favorite sayings is "defining the problem is half the solution." As I connected my adult behaviors with the events of my childhood, everything began to make more sense.

Doesn't Have to Be Perfect

Have you ever felt like you had to have things just so - that everything had to be perfect?  A good friend remembered as a teenager trying to fold his slacks perfectly - just so - on the hanger.

Addicted to Excitement

Have you ever felt like you needed thrills to keep your adrenalin pumping?  Actually needed the rush? I remember one time skiing so fast I could tell I had to stay on my skis or have a devastating injury.

God Turns Up the Volume

Have you ever felt like the same issues or problems keep coming up over and over in your life?  With jobs, I would start out as the Golden Child at a new job, and somehow end up as the Black Sheep and eventually have to quit or be fired.